I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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