Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
