my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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