a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
