I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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