But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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