so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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