no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
