my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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