Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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