She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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