Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
