maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
