Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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