This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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