I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
