there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
