i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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