Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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