I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
