So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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