Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
