If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I party with great urgency now.
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