We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
