she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
