You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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