you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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