His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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