I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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