I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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