You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
