Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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