Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize