So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize