If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize