she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
