batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
