just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
