Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
