So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
