I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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