What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize