Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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