Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There r osticjed everywhere
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
