I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
