Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
