She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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