apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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