I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Randomize
