yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
