you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize