i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
