like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
