yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
