I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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