I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
