I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
