the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
