What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
