That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
