remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
