so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
