the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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