You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
