I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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